No free hugs please.

  25, 2012 14:11
Ever been one of those Asian kids whom hate being hugged randomly by your friends? Even though it seems to be a common practice amongst close friends in a Western society, there is often the sense of dread that it may lead to other 'feelings', especially when performed in an Asian environment.

Once again, I had another argument with a Caucasian friend of mine. He constantly bombards me with 'hugging' requests. Every 15-20 minutes, he would ask me for a hug. Granted! I'm a very stiff person who doesn't offer hugs freely unless she feels the love, I think being demanded hugs when it ought to be given on an impromptu basis or freely, is an issue.

Hugs is very personal in my opinion. It enables you to feel the warmth body of the other party. It allows you to gauge if the other party is reciprocating with you. Or resonating with you. It can be comforting or soothing. It can be casual or personal depending on how long a person demands for the hugs.

I dislike hugs because I was brought up in an environment that doesn't involve hugs. Asians don't simply hug other Asians. It's not like a hand shake. Even then, it's not like we go up everyday to our friends and give them, a big hearty hug or handshake. Unless, of course, you were raised in a Western society.

The first time I was ever given a hug was back in 2004? During an event at Times Square, a group of Comic Fiesta-ers had organized a get-together event. The moment the event had ended, people were going about giving everybody a "glomp". Now, this was my first time on an outing with a group of people that I had never met before. It was my first time hearing the word, "glomp". It was my first time experiencing it. It was also my first time being given a "glomp" by a RANDOM. MALE. DUDE!!!!!! (I would clarify, though, that this same random male dude later on became one of my closer friends. I wouldn't say as close as I'd have like to. But hey! He got along with my mom. I think they were wayyyyyy closer as friends compared to the one I had with him.) My initial reaction to it caused me to froze on the spot rather stiffly and just awkwardly hug back. No, I didn't like the sensation one bit.

To reiterate, hugs is considered very personal to me. I'd rather be given a hug from someone I'm in love with or am very close friends with compared to just simple anybody. Even if we're casual friends, I wouldn't have liked it at all.

I am also intolerant of body heat. My body burns up too easily sometimes. It's not really a symptom or cause of worry. Just a bad blood circulation issue. I tend to get really cool around most of my body except for the back of my neck. So, sometimes even on a cool Winter day, people can see me using both the heater and fan at the same time. This is because my entire body is too cold to regulate enough heat to bring it to a moderate temperature whereas my neck feels too warm that it causes me to feel light-headed and dizzy. Due to this nature, I've often suffered from heat strokes back in Malaysia and even here, in Australia. It also explains why I can't bare the summer heat.

So receiving a hug, does make my body overheat easily. Especially being told to remain hugging someone for more than a minute, it causes me to feel sick. I don't like having that sickening sensation. Nor do I actually appreciate when people breathe down my neck. Like good lord! Are you smelling me? Or something? Ugh! No more. Please... I don't need to feel any sicker than that.

But hey! This is just me.

I wonder if anybody else has ever want through the same situation as I have? If you have, and had found a solution to solve this problem, please do leave a comment below! I'd love to hear what you have to say.

If you're from Innit, you could comment from there. I'd still check it out and read it.

Over and out,

P.S. The blood circulation issue reminded me of this chapter from Sex Pistols (yaoi manga) that I read ages ago. It was about one of the characters who was born from two reptilian families, a dragon and a snake. The result was that he had poor heat circulation in his body and needed to maintain his body temperature at a moderate level. Can't remember whether it was about 20 degrees to 30? But roughly around there.

The irony being that my parents are both dragon and snake. Dad's born in the Snake year. Mom's born in the Dragon year. They're like 11 years apart. I was born in the Snake year about a week before CNY, making me a half Dragon-Snake. I was also born in the Dragon hour. Hilarious, isn't it?

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